Just in the knowing – Self Portrait

Approaching the site of my accident I realized that the way I felt could soon be violently disrupted by returning memories or feelings.

It was warm in the police car, I wound down the window to smell the air and get a sense of this place. I imagine leaving here knowing a particular shift will have occurred. I really must sense something deep inside.

Even just in the knowing that I will become familiar with the place and atmosphere of the site that led to such dramatic changes in my life comforts me. This simple relationship had now become necessary, if not urgent.


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  1. I mentioned the koan of your posture. Of course it is a poor use of the word.

    There is mystery in your story. not from the amnesia, not the what, but the why; the story of why it happened.

    Conjectures are no use, possibilities let alone probabilities serve to make your head spin.

    Perhaps this is all there is. A place, an occurrence, a consequence, a re-alignment of your journey..

    Koans meditate on the inexpressible, the spiritual.

    Peace will come.

  2. I loved the quote from Rumi.

    Here is another.

    Praise to the emptiness that blanks out existence. Existence:
    This place made from our love for that emptiness!

    Yet somehow comes emptiness,
    this existence goes.

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